Being Real - Values~Ethics~Morality

For many weeks now, I have wrestled with issues on loyalty, friendship, Divine meaning of life - you know - all the easy things to ponder during the day - or during sleepless nights. 

And as I think about these topics, what is clear to me is that it gives me a headache. The headache comes from ignoring the obvious, which is taking action.

Taking action is hard. For me, once we take action, we have to take action all the time. It's like placing a bumper sticker on your car. That bumper sticker makes a statement that one should follow. And we forget... or should I say, we are just mindful-less.

As I digress a little since bringing up the bumper sticker situation, I will reflect on a journey to South Portland one day from Westbrook. The car next to me was weaving a bit, not much, but a little. And at traffic lights, and once the traffic moved from a red light to a green light, this vehicle did not move right away until someone either blew a horn or the space between the idle car and the moving car became very wide.

I looked over at the driver. She was reading a magazine, pictures and all. WOW... really?!?. As the light changed again, she cut in front of me to make a sudden turn. The bumper sticker on her vehicle said "Chat later, Drive Safe" What??? are you kidding me?

The point it this. I hold her more responsible form safe driving because she sports a bumper sticker telling people to 'be mindful' of what you are doing and DRIVE SAFE.

Now, back to the Blog prior to the digression.

As I read an article in the Chicago Times this morning written yesterday, it brought to words somethings I have been 'pondering' for a while. All seemed to be issues that I am frequently told are 'just personal' or 'not that important' or I am told "there are more important things in the world to worry about".. and so it goes for ever and ever... until shit happens.

This article moved me in a way that probably was not what the author intended. Although, writers write to make the reader think... and to this, this author accomplished that basic goal with his article for me.
The gift in his article is not the specifics of the Penn State Sexual Abuse issue, or the response of the student body, but a bigger reflection on any social situation.

I felt driven to write to him and thank him for his article.

Basically, we all should stand up for something. And once we do, we have to own the stance, just like a good dancer - solid and committed!

Here is the article and following the article is my letter to My Kadner.

Penn State story: Looking away is easy - Values, Ethics and Morality

Phil Kadner pkadner@southtownstar.com November 11, 2011 9:32PM

Values. Ethics. Morality.

It seems we hear more talk about such things these days than ever before.

But we are bombarded with evidence that people, confronted by the realities of life, choose to ignore such high-minded notions.

The Penn State University scandal is the most recent example.

A child of about 10 was being raped in a shower stall by a grown man. Another man, a graduate assistant coach with the football team, saw it.

His first thought was not to intervene and stop the assault, but to call his father for advice because he obviously feared that he might jeopardize his future as a coach in the Penn State football program.

Joe Paterno, the head coach, has been fired. So has the school president.

Penn State students have staged protests, one developing into what’s been termed a riot.

“A bunch of college students with an excuse to get drunk and have some fun,” is how a colleague reacted to the actions of the students.

But the editor of the college newspaper at Penn State told me it is her sense that most of those students feel as if Paterno is their grandfather and they want to protect him.

There is also a fanatical loyalty to everything Penn State.

“Most people will tell you they love it here,” said the Penn State college newspaper editor. “Some will tell you they like it.

“But I’ve never heard any student say they disliked Penn State.”

Paterno loved the school as well, no doubt. He was proud of his football program.

I understand that.

But a child was sodomized. And according to the grand jury report, Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State coach accused of having intercourse with the child, continued to sexually assault other children.

Time and again we see evidence that doing the right thing is not the easy thing.

The Catholic church chose to cover up for priests who were pedophiles instead of stopping them.

In Illinois, we’ve seen politicians go to prison repeatedly on charges of corruption, discovering during their trials that over a period of years people with knowledge of their illegal activities chose to remain silent.

And we’ve seen it in the business world, where Wall Street kingpins not only kept silent when they might have been able to prevent a financial meltdown, but actually made money betting on the failure of the system.

People wanted to protect their jobs. Their reputations. And line their own pockets.

There are exceptions, of course. Whistle-blowers occasionally come forward, but too often suffer as a result of their courageous actions.

The community, rather than rallying to their side, usually stands behind the accused, who is always a good person who has done good things.

It is possible for good people to do evil things and evil people to do good things, but the public ignores this time and again.

In Crestwood, village officials allowed tainted well water to be distributed to residents.

At a recent village board meeting, there was a public debate over whether Crestwood should pay for the legal defense of one of those officials.

Several people, to the applause of many others, said the water department official was merely following orders, protecting her job.

Therefore the village owed it to her to pay for the legal defense.

Really? If you follow orders, you are absolved of guilt? You are excused from personal responsibility?

Values. Ethics. Morality.

I’m not sure what those words really mean in our society.

Loyalty to a program, a business or a country can be an admirable thing.

But in the end, doing the wrong thing in the name of some greater good really amounts to nothing more than acting in one’s self-interest.

Someone at Penn State could have stopped harm from coming to little children. That is clear.

The fact that educated, respected men chose a different path is not only contemptible, but also very frightening.

Dear Mr Kadner,

I want to thank you for your article on Nov 11, 2011 - Penn State - Looking Away Is Easy. Values, Ethics and Morality

The specific topic in the article regarding the abuse of the child in the shower room is one that is horrible and I cannot imagine such a thing happening at all. And to walk away is cowardly and in some ways, sick.

What I am thankful that in your article, you address some of the other ways this social response finds it's way into our lives. Most situations of abuse and neglect seem to be mundane and unimportant, but as your article implies (to me), this is what allows such larger issues arise. They arise out of desensitizing ourselves, our companies, our clubs, even our friendships to these problems that we have been conditioned to think are unimportant - too unimportant to worry about - 'as there are more important things to worry about in the world' we are told.

I believe this attitude, that we so carelessly carry, is one of the many reasons we - as a society and as a world - get to the place we get to with this extreme sad situation in the Penn State Scandal.

We move fast, we work hard, and we are entitled to that which is ours, but not at the expense of others. I am learning to be mindful of everything I do every moment of everyday. It is hard to do this. And I sometimes I do not want to think and I do not want to be mindful. But in the long run, at the end of the day, I end up feeling good about my day and more importantly, myself.

I know that everyday where I have been more respectful of people, the community, the country and the world at large, some change happens. A little goes a long way. I wish we knew, as a general population, how true this statement really is in our life.

The hardest part of being mindful, is standing behind that mindful thought. When a wrong comes into play, we have to stand up and make a noise. When someone does something that comes from a negative or a mindless (thoughtless) process, we need to hold them accountable. When someone does something that may seem opposite from what they profess, they need to be called out. Loosing friendships, job promotions, acceptance into social arenas may be what we loose standing by our words and displaying our actions, but, as I said, at the end of the day we gain so much more than what we fear loosing.

Again, Thank You for your article in the Chicago Times. I would love to post it on my blog and pass it on to my social network of colleagues and friends to read and reflect. I think that if everyone reads your article and looks deep into themselves, they could find a place where they could change just a little bit and make a tremendous influence on their lives and the world they live in. It is hard to drop the protective barrier and read with open eyes, but those who have eyes will see and take the beauty in your article and practice making a better world.

I say: Stand by your friends and family, stand by your 'Values, Ethics and Morality' and stand by that which holds you responsible- be that Divine or Mundane, Stand up and make noise!

Sincerely, Laurence Miller